Hokum: An Anthology of African-American Humor by Paul Beatty

Author:Paul Beatty [Beatty, Paul]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Literary Collections, American, African American & Black, Humor, Form, Essays, General
ISBN: 9781582344348
Google: RFuA323WsLIC
Amazon: 1582344345
Publisher: Bloomsbury USA
Published: 2006-01-10T00:00:00+00:00

JOHN FARRIS

in the park after school

with the girl & the boy

1994

Characters

GIRL

BOY

GOOD HUMOR MAN

STRANGER

JOGGERS

POLICEMEN

FRIENDS

VARIOUS OTHER ENTITIES

A PARK

THUMB PIANO ALTERNATES WITH M-80'S THROUGHOUT

GIRL: No. No.

BOY: Why?

GIRL: [GIGGLING1 I don't know.

BOY: What's wrong, then?

GIRL: Stop.

BOY: Stop what?

GIRL: Look at her. If I dressed the way that girl does over there, I'd be a bourgeois too. See? Everybody's flirting. Even the birds. Funny how those pines make a Japanese landscape out of this place. I went to Japan once . . .

BOY: With who?

GIRL: With my parents! Who'd you think I went with?

BOY: Your boyfriend. That guy I saw you with the other day.

GIRL: What guy?

BOY: C'mon . . . You know what guy.

GIRL: C'mon . . . What do you mean, "C'mon!" What am I, a mind reader? And I don't remember seeing you the other day . . .

BOY: You didn't. But I saw you . . . Who was he?

GIRL: I'm with a lot of guys. I'm with you, right? It could have been anybody.

BOY: I'm anybody?

GIRL: You know what I mean.

BOY: No. Tell me . . .

GIRL: I mean I like being with guys more than with girls. You know what I mean.

BOY: No.

GIRL: Then—well—you're stupid.

BOY: Don't try to change the subject. Tell me! Why not?

GIRL: Why should I? You'll only use it against me.

BOY: I won't.

GIRL: You're already doing it!

BOY: You're crazy! How can I be using, "it" against you, when I don't even know what "it" is?

GIRL: You won't respect me . . . You'll tell everybody . . .

BOY: I will not!

GIRL: I'll bet it's a Smith and Wesson . . .

BOY: No, it's a Glock! Plastic!

GIRL: Ooh . . . Show it to me! I love plastic! Let me feel it! Show it to me!

STRANGER RUNS BY. BOY SHOOTS STRANGER. STRANGER FALLS.

STRANGER: [SCREAMING] HELP! Help!

BOY: See?

GIRL: Oh. Oh. Oh. It's so beautiful! Can I touch it!

STRANGER: HELP! Help!

BOY: Are you sure?

GIRL: Oh, please—I told you—I just love it.

BOY: Well, okay. Just me, right?

GIRL: I swear. I swear to god. Only with you.

BOY SHOWS PISTOL TO GIRL

STPu\NGER: Help!

GIRL: [FONDLING PISTOL] Ooh. I love it. What's your name?

BOY: Soldier.

GIRL: That's a nice name—Soldier. Say, where'd you get a name like that?

BOY: In the war. It just came to me.

GIRL: Gee, it does have sort of—you know—a nice ring to it. You know what? I think I want a name like that. I think I would die for a name like that. That's a name to die for. Soldier. Oh, soldier.

STRANGER: Help, please!

GIRL: Soldier. Soldier. Will you give me a name like that—will you?

BOY: I don't know—I'm young, yet. But—but what's your name now?

GIRL: Is that important? Why?

BOY: Tell me.

GIRL: Oh, alright. It's Piece. No Piece. My Father wanted to name me Any, but my mother said, No. Mother got her way. She usually does.

BOY: Mine, too . . . My father used to beat her but now that she has one of these . . . [HOLDING UP PISTOL]

GIRL: It's sooo beautiful . . . Do you have a silencer? Let me see it again.

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